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Are there not Examples of Loving, Monogamous Homosexual Relations?

Homosexual conduct is intrinsically a perversion and perversions tend not to be long lasting. The Bible says in Romans 1:24-32:

(24) "Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.
(27) Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty of their perversion.
(28) Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done.
(32) Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but they also approve of those who practice them."

The truth of these verses seems to manifest itself consistently in the lives of homosexuals, especially those who try to turn the perversion into a long lasting value-relationship comparable with heterosexual marriage.  The innate destructive nature of homosexuality makes loving, monogamous homosexual relations nothing more than an illusion.  This observation is well documented and confirmed by the very people who practise a homosexual lifestyle.  Listen to what they say themselves.  Shields, a United Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches’ (UFMCC) pastor says:

"Should you “trick”; should you act out your S & M fantasies; should you be involved in “orgies”;  should you be living in an open relationship or monogamous one?  I cannot say.  I can speak to only what works for me, and offer ideas that have helped me.  The decisions you choose to make are yours.  What is ethical or moral for me may not seem so to you.  What you do or do not do may seem unethical to me – but that, too, is a part of assuming responsibility for our own lives and actions."

Reverend Perry, founder of the UFMCC and one of the pioneers of the gay Christian movement stated:

"I believe that there can be loving experiences, even in a one-night stand.  I truly believe that two individuals can meet and share their complete beings with each other, totally sexually too, and never see one another again;  and remember it as a beautiful loving situation."

The Anglican theologian Pittenger, has gone so far as to argue that a non-monogamous, open relationship should be considered a morally sanctioned form of Christian lifestyle. Many proponents of open relationships argue that such sexual nonexclusivity is actually a liberating experience, and as such can be an avenue for greater emotional growth and maturity for a couple as long as such an arrangement is acceptable to both individuals in the loving, monogamous homosexual relationship.  The core value on which this argument stands is that in order to ensure a lasting love relationship, both persons should be allowed the freedom to engage in occasional sexual contact with others:

"I believe that one of the conditions for a genuinely successful union (marriage) is the allowance of a degree of freedom for the partners, so that the union (marriage) will not be threated when there as such (sexual) contacts, but accepted precisely because it is understood in advance that homosexual unions (marriages) ar not identical with the expectations usually found in conventional heterosexual marriage."

He continues:

"It may very well be the case that now and again a loyal partner in a gay union (marriage) will engage in what I have styled and occasional contact – for fun, because of affection or liking, as a way of manifesting friendship, or … simply because of plain lust or urgent and irrepressible sexual desire … But if this is understood, accepted, seen as part of live (so to say), there is little likelihood that the primary union will be broken up."

It is obvious that within gay mainstream theological thinking the closed character of the conventional loving monogamous long lasting marriage is deemed unsatisfactory and a negative aspect of this sacred institution, and not to be pursued within the gay lifestyle.  The marriage or union acceptable to the gay community has an open character as summarised by O’Neill & O’Neill:

"Fidelity in the closed (heterosexual) marriage is the measure of limited love, diminished growth, and conditional trust … New possibilities for additional relationships exist, and open (as opposed to limited) love can expand to include other beside[s] your mate."

All statistical data for homosexual conduct shows that it has a very unsatisfactory record so far as enduring monogamous relationships are concerned.  Bell & Weinberg reported that 84% of white homosexual males (WHMs) and 77% of black homosexual males (BHMs) had had 50 or more homosexual partners in their lifetime.  Within the group of 50+ partners, 28% of WHMs and 19% BHMs had had over 1000 partners.  Only 3% of WHMs and 6% of BHMs had had fewer than 10 homosexual partners in their lifetime.

A 1997 study of 2 583 homosexually active men in Australia found that, of those over forty-nine years of age, 26.6% had had more than 10 male partners in the past six months alone, 44.9% had had between 2-10, and 28.5% had had just one partner.  In the course of their lifetime to date, only 2.7% reported having just one partner.  The percentages for response categories are just as amazing: 2-10, 10.2%;  11-20, 14.1%;  21-50, 12.9%;  51-100, 11.8%;  101-500, 21.6%;  501-1000, 11%;  1000+, 15.7%.  Nearly 9 out of 10 of those over forty-nine years old had had more than 10 male sex partners and of these the majority had had over 100.

Even within the context of a stable relationship, homosexual males do no exhibit serial monogamy.  Fidelity is the exception rather than the rule.  A Dutch study of the sexual habits of one hundred and fifty six male homosexual couples published in 1994 reported that, on average, each partner had had seven other sexual partners in just the one year preceding the survey23. Nearly 62% of these monogamous gay relationships were non-monogamous in the same one-year period.  The number of outside partners averaged 2.5 in the first year of the relationship and by the 6th year of the relationship the number had increased to eleven.  Results in a study by Blumstein & Schwartz closely follow the Dutch findings24.  The study found that 79% of close-coupled gays had sex with one or more persons other than their primary partner compared to 19% close-coupled lesbians, 10% of married homosexuals, and 23% of unmarried cohabiting heterosexuals.

The consensus among homosexual couples interviewed was that the heterosexual model of monogamy does not work for gay relationships.  The rule of monogamy for heterosexual relationships is the exception for male homosexual relationships.

The vast majority of male homosexual relationships do not last beyond a few years.  A study in England and Wales discovered the mean length for cohabitation with a regular male sex partner to be only 21 months.  Another study found that only 8% of homosexuals and 7% of lesbians ever had a relationship that lasted four years or longer25.  Blumstein & Schwartz found the average length of relationships in a study of 8000 couples was 3.5 years for male homosexual couples and 2.2 years for female homosexual couples.

All of the above suggests, although there will always be an exception to the rule, that the so-called enduring, loving, monogamous homosexual relationship is an extremely rare occurrence.  Any current example of a loving, monogamous homosexual relationship will most probably not last beyond the 7 year mark;  some studies found the 7 year length to be the longest period recorded for a monogamous homosexual relationship within which the partner only had sex with one another.