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Never Give Up

(Richard Cohen, M.A. © Gay Children Straight Parents 2007; IVP)

Same-sex attraction represents a person’s detachment from his sense of being masculine or her sense of being feminine. If secure attachment can be established between your child and the same-sex parent as well as with gender-secure, same-sex role models, and healthy boundaries established with your child and the opposite-sex parent, he will then be on the right track toward potential healing of his gender identity. When a man feels his masculinity, he will be attracted to the opposite, a woman. When a woman feels her femininity, she will be attracted to the opposite, a man.

When same-sex attraction women and men work through their core wounds, their lives will be transformed in the process. And as your participate, your life will be transformed too. Both you and your son or daughter will experience more love and compassion. By opening your heart to your wounded child, you too wil grow and be healed. Keep these four things in mind during the process.

Your child is wounded and needs secure attachment with the same-sex parent and same-sex peers.

The point is not being gay or straight; it is experiencing one’s true gender identity.

Same-sex attraction is a developmental issue and, essentially, not about sex.

Same-sex attraction often has to do with unhealthy attachment to the opposite-sex parent or other members of the opposite sex.